A New Woman

I was talking to my mom the other day and she was saying, "Look how God has used Colton's birth to change you, Carrie." I started thinking about the past 5 months and it's absolutely true. I am a New Woman!

I grew up in a Christian family with my mom, dad, and 2 sisters. I had a very charming childhood. I was always surrounded by lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. We have always valued family time. All of my family came for birthdays, holidays, and special events like graduation or softball tournaments. We laugh together, play games together, and enjoy each other's company. I thought everybody's family was like that. I thought everyone grew up knowing Christ. I went to church and prayed, but never really had a faith-building experience...until I decided to become a mother.

You see, life was always pretty easy for me. I had a loving family, a nice home, lots of friends. I went to a good school, made good grades, graduated college, married the love of my life. Life fell into place perfectly...just like I had planned. Hunter and I were going to be married for 2 years and then we were going to have 2 kids, 2 years apart. I just assumed it would all go according to plan...MY plan. That's when the quote, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans..." really began to mean something to me. To get my Weston, it took me over 2 years. During those 2 years, I did a lot of crying and a lot of praying. I spent many hours on a table doing Acupuncture. I finally decided to stop buying pregnancy tests...because I was just wasting money. The only thing I could do, was turn to God. I had to TRUST in HIS plans. We had been married 5 1/2 years when Weston was born. It was longer than I had expected, but Hunter and I had some great times together as a family of 2...and for that, I am thankful. So life was good with our little Weston. We felt so blessed to have this little miracle. We decided it was time for baby #2 to join the family. Remember, I wanted them 2 years apart. Unfortunately, it took longer than expected...AGAIN! Here I was, back to square one, trying to make life go according to MY plan. I guess I'm just a control freak...I like to know what's going to happen and plan. I like to be prepared. I prayed and prayed for Weston to have a healthy sibling. After losing 2 babies, I finally got pregnant with Mr. Colton. I prayed every day for the first 12 weeks that this baby would make it...and he did. My babies would be 3.5 years apart...which was farther than I had wanted, but I was just thankful I would have another baby...a healthy baby. And then God gave me the BIGGEST faith-building experience of my life. A healthy baby...with Down Syndrome. And that's when I truly understood that I AM NOT IN CONTROL!!!! My plans went out the window. I was not prepared for this...but I just had to trust in Him.

Throughout our 5 month journey with Colton, my life has changed. I've learned to expect the unexpected. I've looked back at my life and realized that God has been preparing me for this for a long time. My dad randomly got transferred from Ohio to Arkansas when I was in high school. At the time, it was devastating, but now...it's my home. It's where I met my husband, it's where I've had my babies, it's where there's an incredible Medicaid program for children with disabilities. Arkansas, really? Who knew? My kids being 3.5 years apart has been a blessing. Weston is old enough to go to school and he's potty trained. I have time to focus on Colton and his therapies. I was a teacher for 9 years...I have a child that will have difficulties learning...and now I can focus on teaching him. I know about IEP's and different methods for teaching math concepts. Family support? Man, do I ever have that. God knew exactly what I needed. He has been preparing me for this journey for a long time.

So, why am I a new woman? Well, I'm the kind of person who is shy until you get to know me. I don't like to talk to random strangers or call places to ask questions, etc.... I always made my sisters and mom do stuff like that for me. I don't like to be out of my comfort zone. Since I've had Colton, I've been to lunch with strangers because we both had children with disabilities. I've taken my family to a DS balloon release where I didn't know anybody. I've called lots of doctor's offices, hospitals, and therapy places to ask questions about services, bills, etc.... I've joined a weekly Bible Study at my church. I've proudly told strangers that my child has DS, without tears. I've started this blog and am sharing my story with lots of people. Why? Because I want to educate people about DS...it's not the doom and gloom that most people think it is. I want to update people on our lives. I want to tell people that God is in control and that you have to trust in HIS plan. I want women to know that YOU are not alone if you are struggling with infertility or have a child with special needs. YOU will be okay. God has used Weston and Colton to strengthen my faith. He gave me two blessings...in HIS time. It's been quite the journey, so far. Like I said, my life was always pretty easy. But, you never know how tough you are until you've been pushed to the limit. God has pushed me, and I've bounced back. I found a quote the other day that I really love..."Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful, " by Joshua J. Marine. God gave me a challenge, but I will overcome that challenge.

Whatever you may be going through at the present moment, know that you are not alone. You can get through it. And when you're struggling...PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Switching Things Up

Well...we are officially switching things up. Colton just started his Physical Therapy at Access, not Easter Seals. Why the change? Well, here's the story...

At the end of April, our Physical Therapist was still doing home visits every 3 weeks for therapy. She came to our house and was working with him, and she told me that she was ready to start having him come to the facility 1x per week for 60 minutes. I was really excited for him to start going to therapy weekly because I knew it would take a little pressure off of me...I do my best, but a PT knows a lot more than I do. She also told me that she would be leaving Easter Seals to begin working at Access in June. Access recruited her because she's really good with babies and they wanted to add more babies to their school. She was told she could take all of her outpatients with her when she moved, if the families were willing to make the switch. She mentioned it to me and I was excited. I'd heard really great things about Access. Don't get me wrong, I really like Easter Seals, but it was the only place we'd toured because it was in a good location and we had some family friends that worked there. But, when you find a PT who loves on your baby and is making great progress with them, you just have to follow them! So...Hunter and I decided to go tour Access in order to see if we liked it. Let me just say...WOW! It was fabulous! When we left the tour, Hunter looked at me and said, "This is where Colton is going to go to preschool." I totally agreed. Every room had their curriculum posted outside with themes and book suggestions, etc.... The classrooms were so inviting. The focus of the school is Literacy and all of the preschool classes are 50% typical children and 50% children with developmental delays. The therapy gym was really big. There was a large in-ground trampoline and a foam pit with a balance beam going across it. There's a stage with lots of different things on it. They had a rock climbing wall and several types of swings. It was just really cool. If I were a kid, I'd be so excited to go in there to "play." Everyone was really friendly. They have a large garden that the older kids use to learn to plant and grow things. They even have adult classes for 18-35 year olds to help with interviewing skills and getting jobs, etc.... The goal would be for Colton to go to preschool there and then transition into Kindergarten at a regular public school; however, if he needs more assistance in the classroom, he can attend Access for school.

So far, we've had 3 PT appointments at Access. It's a very busy place and Colton loves to watch the other kids while he works out. He's making lots of progress, too. Colton has learned to roll from his back to his tummy. Every time I put him down on his back, he ends up on his tummy. I'm proud of my big boy! We are working on sitting up, too, and strengthening his arms so that he can learn to get into a crawling position.





We know several people who work at Access, and it's fun to run into them each week. It's definitely going to be a new home for us, and we are really excited about our journey there. We will do outpatient therapy until August 2017. Once I decide to send Colton to preschool there, he has to go full time, year round in order for TEFRA to pay for his school/therapy. They do year round because they don't want kids losing skills over the summer, especially when they work so hard to get those skills. I'm not ready to give my baby up for that long right now, so I'm going to wait another year until he's a little bit older. I like taking him to therapy so that I can watch and learn...it makes working with him at home easier if I can see what she does with him. So far, it's been a great experience. We are thrilled that we found a wonderful place for Colton!

The First Time It Happened...

Yesterday, we dedicated our sweet baby Colton at church. We got him all dressed up and arrived early in order to save our seats near the front. While we waited for church to start, we listened to the worship team practice. My in-laws arrived and were playing with the kids because they hadn't seen them in a few days. There was a lady and her daughter sitting behind us, but I didn't know them. They must have been watching Colton for a little while. The mom came over and said hello to Colton and commented on how cute he was. Then she went back to her seat. Church began and after the first song, the Pastor said a few words and then asked everyone to turn around and greet the people sitting near you. Hunter and I turned around and spoke to this lady and her daughter. She was super friendly and said hi to Weston and asked him if he was a good big brother. Then she talked to Colton and told us that she had some friends who had an 8 year old with Downs and he was quite a character. She said they really enjoyed being around him. Hunter and I turned back around as the music began and starting singing. All of a sudden, my eyes filled with tears. I kept trying to make them stop, but I just couldn't. It was the very first time anybody had noticed and mentioned that Colton had DS without me telling them...and man, it stung. I'm sure people may have noticed before, but this was the first time somebody actually said something about it. Hunter also must have been thinking about it because he leaned over to me and said, "Did you tell her he had Downs or did she just know?" I said, "She just knew."

I knew this day would come...I've tried to prepare myself for it...but it still hurt. After a few songs, I pushed through the tears and it was time to dedicate Colton. We went up on stage and were the first family to go.





The Pastor read 9 statements that we commit to as parents of these sweet babies. He inserted Colton's name into every one of them. The first two were just what I needed to hear...

1. We acknowledge that Colton is a gift from God.

2. We recognize that God uniquely formed Colton and our responsibility is to raise him to honor God in all of life.



The verse we chose for Colton came from Psalm 139:14,
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

We absolutely adore our little chunky monkey. He brings us such joy. It takes about 2 seconds of talking to him to get him to smile at you like the picture below. We wouldn't trade him for the world. We know that he was "wonderfully made." We also know he does have DS and that people are going to know it, too. It will be written all over his face. Pretty soon, we'll get used to people looking at him and commenting on it....but this was a first for us...and it was hard. But I will say, our Colton man is pretty dang cute...and that smile can brighten anybody's day.

Interesting Things I've Learned

Over the past 4 months, I've learned a lot of new things about children and adults with DS. Colton may experience all, some, or none of these things. No two kids are alike, so we will just have to wait to see how having one extra chromosome will affect Mr. Colton.

1. Ear Canals and Nasal Passages

They have more narrow nasal passages and ear canals. It can be hard for a Pediatrician to see the eardrum, which can lead to undetected ear infections. Usually, a child with DS will have to go to an ENT in order to have their ears checked and/or tubes put in. I asked our Pediatrician at our last visit if she could see Colton's eardrums...and she could! So...I guess that's a good thing. He hasn't had an ear infection, yet, but that could be something we have trouble with in the future. Chronic ear infections can lead to hearing loss, so it's important to keep an eye on. The narrow nasal passages can make a cold more miserable because they don't drain as well. Upper respiratory infections are also common. These are things I was unaware of a few months ago.

2. Thyroid Issues

People with DS can have thyroid issues that can lead to weight gain. Colton will have to have his thyroid checked annually. If you haven't already noticed, Colton is quite the chunk. I asked our Pediatrician about it and she told me that as long as his height and weight are proportional, he's fine. Luckily, he's in the 50's and 60's for both, so we are good right now. He also has the advantage of having a tall father, which might make him a little taller than the average DS male....unless of course he gets my height (hehe). In the future, we will probably have to monitor the food he eats so that he doesn't gain too much weight.

3. Teeth

So...they don't always get their teeth in the same order as a typical child. I've heard stories where fangs came before the front teeth. Their teeth can come in a random order. I've read that they can get their first teeth at 12-14 months, but it may be as late as 24 months. He may not get all 20 teeth until he's 4 or 5, where a typical baby usually has all 20 by 2 or 3. They usually have smaller than average teeth and/or missing teeth. Sometimes they have larger tongues or an average sized tongue but a small upper jaw that makes their tongue too large for their mouth. Tongue thrusting can be an issue, so we do mouth exercises to try to keep Colton's tongue moving right and left and up and down in his mouth. We don't want him to thrust his tongue because it can cause speech problems as well as feeding problems.

4. Speech

Low tone just messes everything up. The muscles in the mouth, face, and throat are low tone, so this can cause feeding issues and speech issues. A lot of people with DS have speech impediments because of this. I do exercises in Colton's mouth to stimulate and strengthen the muscles in his face/mouth/tongue. People with DS can understand much more than they can express. It may take them longer to learn to speak, so a lot of children learn signs to keep from getting frustrated. They want to tell their parents things, but they just can't figure out how to get it out of their mouths. That's why speech therapy is so important at an early age. Colton hasn't qualified yet, but the Speech Therapist gave me some exercises to do daily. I'll share those in a later post.

5. Vision

Apparently, they can be born with cataracts. Luckily, Colton doesn't have cataracts. Eye disease is reported in over half of patients with DS. They could be less severe like tear duct abnormalities or more severe like vision threatening diagnoses like cataracts. Most people with DS will have to wear glasses as some point in their life.

6. Sleep Apnea

Low tone can cause sleep apnea because the throat muscles relax as we sleep. If they relax too much, they can block the airways. Some people with DS have to have sleep studies done because of this.

7. Fertility

I read that 50% of women with DS are fertile. If these women have babies, 35-50% of those babies will be born with DS or other developmental disabilities. There is limited information about Men's Fertility. There have been 3 confirmed cases with a DS father. We might see an increase in the future because men with DS have so many more opportunities to be successful. More and more are getting married. Also, life expectancy has increased significantly in the past 30 years. We do know that men with DS do have a lower overall fertility rate than men their age that are typical.


So...there you have it! A few things I've learned over the past 4 months. I know that I'll continue to learn even more information in the future. It will be an interesting journey with Colton, so hopefully by reading this blog, you can continue to join us.

4 Month Checkup

Y'all! We just had the best 4 month checkup. My eyes filled with tears and my heart soared. Our Pediatrician said Colton is doing "fantastic!" She laughed because he is meeting all of his milestones and growth just like any other 4 month old. She was very, very happy with how he's doing. Look at my big boy's stats:



I filled out the 4 month old questionnaire and the options for each question are "Yes, Sometimes, Not Yet." I didn't put "Not Yet" on any of them. I was shocked! Now, Colton hasn't mastered every single thing on the list; however, he is attempting to do all of those things each day. We still need work on our arm control and grip, but we are making progress. Colton's therapists are on point with what they're having us do. It just makes me feel so good to know that he's not falling behind. We are keeping up....so far. We will keep on, keeping on.

My little man was loving the white paper he was on because it makes lots of noise when he wiggles. He wiggled all over that thing. It was a wrinkled mess after we left. I remember Weston liked that, too! The only thing he didn't like...shots! Poor baby turned bright red and did the silent cry thing until he finally screamed it out! Whew! Luckily, mom was ready with a bottle to calm him down.



"Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God You are higher than any other, our God is Healer, awesome in power, our God, our God..." Singing His praises today!

"He doesn't look like he has Down Syndrome"

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard, "He doesn't look like he has Down Syndrome," I'd be rich! Hey, I'm with ya! There are times I look at Colton, and I can't see it. He looks like any other typical baby. When we go out in public, people don't seem to notice. There have been a few times when I've had to tell people that he has it and you should see the look on their face! They're just as surprised as we were in the hospital! They also don't really know what to say. That's ok...it's surprising news...and it's not an easy pill to swallow.

However, there are times when I can totally tell he has it. It depends on the face he's making or the angle I'm looking at him. I can mostly see it in his eyes or when he's sticking out his tongue. I can also see it in the extra skin he has on the back of his neck, like a puppy. Here are a few pics where I can see it more...







The truth is...he has Down Syndrome. Eventually, everyone will be able to tell that he has it, because he does have it. You always wonder what your kids are going to look like as they get older, but with Colton, I think about it more often. I just don't want him to be self-conscious. I also don't want Weston to have to hear kids ask, "Why does your brother look like that?" But...it's gonna happen. I think it has more to do with people being ignorant than malicious. I'm just trying to prepare myself for it. Being able to see that he has DS, has its pros and cons. Pro: People will be more accepting of his behavior in public because they know he has it. Con: People are probably going to treat him differently and stare. But hey, we'll be fine. We have thick skin. To me, he'll always be precious. In my eyes, he's going to be the most handsome boy with DS there ever was. So right now, he may not look it....but as he gets older, I think it will be more obvious. But that's ok. Only time will tell...

Physical Therapy

At 4 weeks old, Colton qualified for Physical Therapy. We decided to do Home-Programming since he was so little. We didn't want to take him to the facility because we didn't want him to get sick. Our PT got a prescription from our Pediatrician to come to our house every 3 weeks to work with Colton and to teach me exercises to do with him at home. At his 4 week evaluation, she gave me some exercises to do until our first official visit at 7 weeks. Goal #1: Head Control. We were told to do lots of tummy time. We were to roll up a small hand towel and place it under his armpits/chest, to help make it a little easier.



She also suggested that we try to position him in different ways if we set him down. Since he's low tone, gravity causes him to mold to any surface he's on. We don't want him flat as a pancake, so she wanted him to lay on his sides if at all possible. We used towels to help position him.



We have to work on his tummy muscles and pull his feet up toward his chest, allowing his hands to try to grab onto his feet. Typical babies usually have no trouble with this, but for Colton, it's hard!



It took us awhile to gain head control...almost 4 months of working. We found that Colton would use every muscle in his body to try and hold up his head, but when you held his body still and just isolated those neck muscles, he'd flop that head around. We had to work really hard just on those neck muscles. She suggested that when I carried him around the house, I'd hold him in ways that would work his neck. I'd face him out so that one of my arms was holding his chest and the other was under his legs. I'd lean him forward a little so that he'd have to pick his head up to look around. I'd also put him up high on my shoulder with both of his arms over my shoulder, allowing his head to bob and work. I have to be intentional when I carry Colton so that he's always working!



We use the exercise ball a lot in order to help build tone. Any kind of bouncing is good for his core. He seems to like it, too!







Colton has been doing an excellent job with therapy. Sometimes he gets really mad when she forces him to work hard, but that's ok! We have to push him to be the best that he can be! Here are a few more shots of some of his exercises...



Our therapist made this contraption over her Spring Break. Colton needs to lay on his side, but he always wiggles until he's on his back again. We strap him to this to keep him on his side. We want him reaching out for toys because gravity doesn't make it so hard for him if he's sideways.









People always ask me if I have a set schedule for doing therapy with him. The answer is no. I do therapy whenever I get a chance. I have to plan it around meals, bottles, taking big brother to school and activities, appointments, etc... We just do it when we have some free time. Sometimes it's in the morning while brother is at school, other times it's at night while we watch tv. Somedays we do better than others. The PT told me, "Carrie, sometimes you just have to be mom. You can't always be his therapist." I'm so glad she said that. We try to do a little each day. He is just a baby and needs some time to just do baby things!

Colton was re-evaluated for PT just last week. She told me that he was going to make it hard on her because he almost didn't qualify. Trust me, we want him to qualify! He is doing really well, but he's definitely not where a typical 4 month old should be. She told me that his age equivalence was about 2 months. She said that's good for Colton....so...we are happy to hear that he's doing well. Colton now has a prescription for therapy 1x a week at the facility. It's fun to take him and watch him. It's a one hour session. At the end of the session, she gives us "homework" for the week. We have mastered head control, so Goal #2 is Trunk Control. This week we are focusing on weight bearing through his legs and arms, and we are working on stabilizing the lower half of his body so that he can work on moving his arms forward to grab and swat at toys. He is a tough little guy and he's working hard. We are proud of our Colton!!