A New Woman

I was talking to my mom the other day and she was saying, "Look how God has used Colton's birth to change you, Carrie." I started thinking about the past 5 months and it's absolutely true. I am a New Woman!

I grew up in a Christian family with my mom, dad, and 2 sisters. I had a very charming childhood. I was always surrounded by lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. We have always valued family time. All of my family came for birthdays, holidays, and special events like graduation or softball tournaments. We laugh together, play games together, and enjoy each other's company. I thought everybody's family was like that. I thought everyone grew up knowing Christ. I went to church and prayed, but never really had a faith-building experience...until I decided to become a mother.

You see, life was always pretty easy for me. I had a loving family, a nice home, lots of friends. I went to a good school, made good grades, graduated college, married the love of my life. Life fell into place perfectly...just like I had planned. Hunter and I were going to be married for 2 years and then we were going to have 2 kids, 2 years apart. I just assumed it would all go according to plan...MY plan. That's when the quote, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans..." really began to mean something to me. To get my Weston, it took me over 2 years. During those 2 years, I did a lot of crying and a lot of praying. I spent many hours on a table doing Acupuncture. I finally decided to stop buying pregnancy tests...because I was just wasting money. The only thing I could do, was turn to God. I had to TRUST in HIS plans. We had been married 5 1/2 years when Weston was born. It was longer than I had expected, but Hunter and I had some great times together as a family of 2...and for that, I am thankful. So life was good with our little Weston. We felt so blessed to have this little miracle. We decided it was time for baby #2 to join the family. Remember, I wanted them 2 years apart. Unfortunately, it took longer than expected...AGAIN! Here I was, back to square one, trying to make life go according to MY plan. I guess I'm just a control freak...I like to know what's going to happen and plan. I like to be prepared. I prayed and prayed for Weston to have a healthy sibling. After losing 2 babies, I finally got pregnant with Mr. Colton. I prayed every day for the first 12 weeks that this baby would make it...and he did. My babies would be 3.5 years apart...which was farther than I had wanted, but I was just thankful I would have another baby...a healthy baby. And then God gave me the BIGGEST faith-building experience of my life. A healthy baby...with Down Syndrome. And that's when I truly understood that I AM NOT IN CONTROL!!!! My plans went out the window. I was not prepared for this...but I just had to trust in Him.

Throughout our 5 month journey with Colton, my life has changed. I've learned to expect the unexpected. I've looked back at my life and realized that God has been preparing me for this for a long time. My dad randomly got transferred from Ohio to Arkansas when I was in high school. At the time, it was devastating, but now...it's my home. It's where I met my husband, it's where I've had my babies, it's where there's an incredible Medicaid program for children with disabilities. Arkansas, really? Who knew? My kids being 3.5 years apart has been a blessing. Weston is old enough to go to school and he's potty trained. I have time to focus on Colton and his therapies. I was a teacher for 9 years...I have a child that will have difficulties learning...and now I can focus on teaching him. I know about IEP's and different methods for teaching math concepts. Family support? Man, do I ever have that. God knew exactly what I needed. He has been preparing me for this journey for a long time.

So, why am I a new woman? Well, I'm the kind of person who is shy until you get to know me. I don't like to talk to random strangers or call places to ask questions, etc.... I always made my sisters and mom do stuff like that for me. I don't like to be out of my comfort zone. Since I've had Colton, I've been to lunch with strangers because we both had children with disabilities. I've taken my family to a DS balloon release where I didn't know anybody. I've called lots of doctor's offices, hospitals, and therapy places to ask questions about services, bills, etc.... I've joined a weekly Bible Study at my church. I've proudly told strangers that my child has DS, without tears. I've started this blog and am sharing my story with lots of people. Why? Because I want to educate people about DS...it's not the doom and gloom that most people think it is. I want to update people on our lives. I want to tell people that God is in control and that you have to trust in HIS plan. I want women to know that YOU are not alone if you are struggling with infertility or have a child with special needs. YOU will be okay. God has used Weston and Colton to strengthen my faith. He gave me two blessings...in HIS time. It's been quite the journey, so far. Like I said, my life was always pretty easy. But, you never know how tough you are until you've been pushed to the limit. God has pushed me, and I've bounced back. I found a quote the other day that I really love..."Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful, " by Joshua J. Marine. God gave me a challenge, but I will overcome that challenge.

Whatever you may be going through at the present moment, know that you are not alone. You can get through it. And when you're struggling...PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6